Even to Bavaria.

Last year was incredible. 

For those of you who don't know, I had the chance to tour with the Institute for Cultural Communicators as a Touring Intern. For 5 months, I was on a team with 11 other people and we traveled around the country putting on communication and leadership conferences for students between the ages of 6-19. 

Yeah. It was pretty boss... For many reasons that I won't go into. But my favorite part was walking away with 11 best friends.

During one of the last days of tour, I was talking with one of my favorite people, Bethany, and we were talking about what life would be like once we got home.

I shared with her that I wasn't sure what I'd do when I got home. Maybe school? Maybe work? Maybe learn how to make Kimchi (A recent obsession of mine)? I wasn't sure. 

She replied, "That's kind of cool though, don't you think? You can go home with no plans and no expectations. You can be very open handed about life." (Side note: This bit of advice went on to inspire my other blogpost called The Dash Between Point A and Point B)

Huh. Hadn't thought of that. And, to be honest, I kind of liked the sound of that. So, right there, I remember thinking, "Alright, Jesus. I'll do my best to be open handed. I may need help with that." I could almost picture Him laughing and smiling at me. "But, it's yours." I thought. "I'll follow you wherever you go." 

Fast forward two months. I found myself sitting in my friend's kitchen. I was talking with her and her mother about when they lived in Europe. I was fangirling because, you know, Europe. And the Mom said to me, "My cousin is looking for an Au Pair (a domestic assistant from a foreign country working for, and living as part of, a host family). Is that something you'd be interested in?" 

I quickly found myself shaking my head. I had plans. I had goals. And being an Au Pair didn't fit into those plans. 

As I was shaking my head, a random memory popped into my head: Me, sitting with Bethany, quietly telling Jesus I was going to be open handed about my life. 

"Well," My friend's Mom said, "I'll email them and see if they're still looking for an Au Pair. Just in case." 

The next few months looked like this: 

Me: "So. Mom. Dad. There might be an opportunity for me to go be an Au Pair in Bavaria!"
Mom and Dad: "Wait. What?"

An email from a family on the other side of the world titled: Au Pair in Germany. 

Me Googling: "Do they serve good coffee in Germany?" #priorities 

Lots of conversations with my family. Lots of prayer.

An interview with me sitting with my parents in my Dad's office because my Dad wanted to be there to meet the family.

And finally:
Me actually writing out the words to the family, "After talking with my family, I decided that I would love to come out and be your Au Pair!"

I told Jesus that I'd be open handed about my life and that I'd follow Him wherever He'd go. I guess I just didn't realize the power those words had to change my life. 

Now, here is the thing: This time last year, I never would have accepted this opportunity. I had a plan, a map I was following: School, job, career, getting married, etc. Being an Au Pair in a different country? That wasn't even on my radar. 

But here's what I'm learning, as nice as I like to think my plans are, they are never as amazing, or whimsical, or as magical as Jesus' plans. And, if I'd just slow down and stop telling Jesus what I would like to do, I'd get to experience the fullness and completeness of those plans.

So, yes. Me moving to another country is scary. I don't speak the language (Although, I am learning. Bless you, Rosetta Stone). This will be my first big thing without my family. I'll have to take even more time off of school. I won't be able to get a "normal job" until I get back. I'll be leaving behind everything I'm comfortable with, stepping completely out of my country and comfort zone. 

And as scary as this may seem, I'm not scared. I don't feel flustered with the fact that my life isn't on my track. Why? 

I get to meet a beautiful family on the other side of this world, get to explore a different continent, get to discover more of who I am, etc. But most importantly, I get to experience Jesus on a level I know I haven't experienced Him before. And to me, that's so worth it.

Living open-handed means being okay with your life looking completely different than everyone else's lives. It means taking the time to slow down and realize that the Creator of life and time itself is with you every single day. It means realizing that this life is so much bigger and so much more beautiful than you can ever imagine. 

5 months ago I told Jesus that He was free to mold my life and that I was (finally) going to begin the long journey of surrender. I told Him I'd follow Him wherever He went. 

Now, 5 months later, I have a German power adapter, a green umbrella and lots of German kids books. I have no idea what my life will look like 3 months from now. I know this whole experience is so different than anything I could have ever pictured myself doing. 

I promised that I'd be open handed, loosely holding my dreams and plans, and that I'd follow Jesus anywhere. And I still mean that. 

I will follow Him wherever He wants me to go, even to Bavaria. 

Kimberly :)

P.S. A song that I have on repeat while writing this blogpost is "7 Years: Rewritten by Leah Guest." A line that's sticking out to me, "Soon, I'll be sixty years old and God will show me that He was by my side through my every heartbeat." <3

The Dash Between Point A and Point B.

I love deadlines. And goals. And time lines. And data points. I love having a concrete date to shoot for, something to struggle towards, with a definite finish line complete with confetti and ribbons. When I don't have a goal, I feel like I'm not making progress, and I struggle to complete what I'm working on. 

That might sound good at first. That means that I can set a goal and make sure I stick to it. But imagine living like that. 

I have to have a goal and a timeline for everything and everyone. For the longest time, I had a pretty good goal/timeline for my life. Get married by this age. Graduate in this year. Get a job at this place. I had my goals. And I had something to work towards. 

But that meant that every time something came along that disrupted my goals, I'd get frustrated with myself, with Jesus, with where I was in my progress report. So I'd try to reshuffle my goals to account for the "interruption" and then strive for the new goals. Up until something else would come up. And repeat. 

That constant struggle, me making plans, Jesus not following my plans, me getting frustrated and trying to remake my plans all stem from a Destination Mindset. I live for the destination. I don't care how I get to my goal as long as it's the fastest, easiest and most efficient route. I live with the destination in mind. 

And I completely forget what beautiful scenery is around me on the way to my destination.

Jesus, unlike me, lives with a Journey Mindset. Sure, he knows where I'll end up and how I'll get there. But he isn't focused on the end point. He's focused on the process of getting there. 

I'm focused on getting from point A to point B. Jesus is focused on the dash between the two.

And I'm beginning to realize how much I want to have Jesus' mindset of the journey. 

When you have a journey mindset, you get to slow down and focus on being present. There's no need to rush anywhere, because you are exactly where you are supposed to be.

You can extravagantly invest in the people around you. Because changing them isn't the goal. Simply being with them is the goal. 

Failure isn't this big horrendous, earth shattering thing to worry about. Because I know that the learning process of the failure will be beautiful and so worth it. 

It drops the need to compare myself to others. They are also on their own unique journey that looks completely different than mine. And I get to be a small part of their journey. 

It means that if I have to take more time off from school to do something that wasn't part of my plan, that isn't a bad thing. It means that my journey is going to have a greater focus on experiencing things instead of academic grades. 

It means that when people try to tell me where I should be in my life, I can just smile and shrug it off.  Because I know that my journey is beautiful and that I don't need their approval in the process of the journey.

It means that when things are hard, and I feel miserable, I have the courage to keep going, because I know that this isn't my end point. This is just a little dash on the map, a small part of my adventure.

And it means that Jesus isn't a sectioned time block in the morning for me to stop and pray to. Learning more about Jesus, growing in Him and with Him, is the journey. And I am so thankful that He allows me to embark on that journey every single morning.

So, take it from someone who suffers from Goal Mindset. You can spend your whole life trying to check off boxes and getting frustrated when Jesus takes you down a road that wasn't on your map. Or, you can slow down, hear how many times a day Jesus says, "I love you", and appreciate the beautiful scenery that you're driving through. 

The scenery, and the beautiful Creator who is right there with you through all of it, is worth all of the unchecked boxes you may have at the end of the day. Trust me.

Kimberly 

The Connection Is Strong With Star Wars

So. I saw the new Star Wars movie last night.

::Internal screaming::

::External screaming:: 

Okay. No spoilers. No gushing. No sobbing. I promise.

BUT SERIOUSLY. YOU NEED TO GO SEE THIS MOVIE.

Okay. I'm done.

I got the chance to see the new movie with some of my favorite people. We showed up at the theater at 6 pm (6 hours before our showing) and sat on the floor and ate food, played card games, and tried to keep the circulation in our legs going (You try sitting on cold tile for six hours and then laugh at me).

Now, don't get me wrong. The movie was good. The people were amazing. The food was good. But my favorite part about that premiere was watching people connect.

There were a lot of people at that theater (The line went through the whole lobby and outside into the parking lot). The people there had different religious beliefs, backgrounds, political opinions, different favorite Star Wars movies, etc.

But none of that mattered. Because the only thing that mattered was the common love of the Star Wars franchise.

I watched people introduce themselves to strangers so they could compliment them on their Storm Trooper outfits. I saw a woman walk all the way across the lobby to share a laugh with another woman who was wearing the same Chewbacca Hoodie.

And it was just fun.

For once people weren't trying to cram their beliefs down other people's throats. They weren't talking about Donald Trump or what's going on over in Syria. For six hours last night, we were all just nerds there to fangirl about one of our favorite franchises.

And it was amazing.

It wasn't until we sat down in our seats in the theater when I realized something.

It is so easy for us to focus on our differences, the things we don't agree on, how different we all are, etc. And lately, after watching all of the junk on the news, I think that's all we are choosing to focus on. We focus on our different political beliefs and different religious beliefs and we quit focusing on the fact that we are all in the exact same boat. 

We are all human. Clumsy, messed up humans trying our best to figure life out. Yeah. We may be in different phases of life and come from completely different backgrounds. But we are all struggling with something, sometimes with very similar things.

And sitting in line watching people connect with people over Star Wars last night reminded of that. I got to spend 6 hours watching people forget how different we all are and focus on their common adoration for Hans Solo and R2D2.

That made me kind of sad when I woke up this morning. Because I love that connection. I love seeing how one common love can bring all kinds of people together. But it made me realize how much I want to carry that connection with people even beyond the movie theater.

If I see someone wearing an R2D2 shirt, I'm going to go and talk with them. Yeah. That might be a bit weird and I'll probably make a fool of myself. But that 2 minutes of connecting with a complete stranger is totally worth it.

I want to start focusing on the things that we all have in common, whether that be a love for Star Wars or the fact that the Barista at Starbucks and I both have blonde hair. We live in a world that is constantly being torn apart by our differences. And I'm getting tired of choosing to focus on that.

I'm not saying that this will cure all of our problems. But that connection, no matter how small, can make a difference in one person's life. And sometimes, that is everything. 

The connection was strong with Star Wars. And I'm going to choose to carry that connection with me. And I'm kind of hoping you do the same.

May the Connection be with you.
Kimberly

P.S. Sorry, not sorry, for the Star Wars jokes.

The Importance of Christian Communication

It is said that only five percent of Americans are ready, and willing, to command the public platform. That means that the other ninety-five percent have to listen to that five percent. As Christians, it is vital that we are a part of that five percent that is ready to command the platform.

In an article called, It Doesn’t Matter What You Know If You Can’t Communicate By George Ambler, he states, “Communication has been central to the ‘social process’ of all great leaders.” When we look back at the leaders of history, you will notice that all of them were exceptional speakers. They connected with their audience. Their message was crystal clear. They were able to inspire, to motivate, to persuade. Men like Pericles of ancient Athens, Winston Churchill, and Martin Luther King Jr. And also men like Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, and Joseph Stalin. These men were initially known for their communication skills, many of them long before they came to power. They used their communication skills to share their ideas, to further their cause. For Pericles, his communication skills helped rally the Athenians during the Peloponnesian War. Winston Churchill was able to keep Britain to keep their hopes up during the Blitzkrieg in World War II. For others, such as Hitler, his communications skills started the bloodiest and most destructive war in history, World War II. Joseph Stalin jump started the murders of almost 700,000 Russians during The Great Purge in the 1930s by communicating his ideas.

You cannot look at these men and the roles that their public speaking skills played, and not say that being able to communicate isn’t important. What if Martin Luther King Jr. hadn’t been able to express his heart and inspire thousands of people during his infamous “I Have A Dream” speech? What if Adolf Hitler hadn’t been able to communicate his “Final Solution” for World War II to the Germans? Communication is key in shaping lives and the course of history.

I once watched a debate between a Christian and an Atheist on the topic of the existence of God. Throughout the course of the debate, it became pretty clear which man was a better speaker. The Christian speaker had some good points. However, he mumbled, had almost no eye contact, and didn’t really connect with his audience. The Atheist, on the other hand, was a very smooth speaker. He communicated his thoughts well, incorporated humor, and was very conversational, so he connected with the audience easily.

As the debate progressed, I became more and more frustrated. How many people who watched this debate would side with the Atheist? Not because he was right, but simply because he got his points across to an audience that was engaged?

I walked away from watching that debate with a new mindset. As Christians, we cannot afford to be bad communicators. We have the most important message in the world: The message of Jesus Christ. The message that the Creator of the universe wants a relationship with us, so He can meet our deepest needs. And this message not only impacts people now, but for eternity. Peter, one of Jesus’ closest followers said, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” How are we to do this if we can’t communicate effectively? Everyone should be able to communicate. But it is essential for Christians to be able to communicate effectively. Lee Iacocca, an American businessman, once said, “You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere.” Jesus left us with an incredible message. And we need to be able to communicate that message clearly.

But how can we become better communicators? For starters, we can study great speakers, get training and mentoring, and finally by practicing. 

One of the ways that I am doing this is by being involved with The Institute for Cultural Communicators or ICC. ICC is a Christian organization that teaches communication and leadership skills to students between the ages of six and eighteen.

I have been involved in ICC for five years now. I started off learning communication in ICC’s local chapter program, where, in a safe environment, students work together on their communication and leadership skills. It was here that I worked through the Young Speakers Guild, the communication curriculum ICC offers, and served in many leadership positions. This year I am applying to be a Touring Intern with ICC. That means that, if I get selected, I will spend five months training and traveling the country teaching students communication and leadership skills at conferences.  

Learning how to communicate isn’t easy. I’ve been scared. I’ve made mistakes. And there have been times I wanted to quit.  But I think back to that Christian Vs. Atheist debate and I rediscover all over again how important it is to be able to communicate well. I want to help people do this hard thing. So they can be able to share the reason for the hope that they have. And be able to do it well.

I have found that The Institute for Cultural Communicators is very effective in mentoring and training Christians to speak clearly, to connect to their audience, to inspire, to motivate, to persuade. For more information, you can visit ICC's website: Iccinc.org.

Only five percent of Americans are ready to speak. What if that five percent was filled with Christians who could talk about their faith and share a message of hope. Being able to get up and communicate that message isn’t for our benefit. It’s for the benefit of those who listen. In one of my favorite songs by Elevation Worship, they sing, “We are the change the world is waiting for. We've got a love the world is desperate for. We will lead and take to your streets.” In the book of Mark, one of the last things Jesus says to his disciples is, “...’Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.’” Communication is essential in being able to do that.

::sips coffee::

Kimberly

I'm Weird.

I am so so weird. 

I don't say this in a weird/condescending way about myself. I am just stating a fact. I. Am. Weird. 

But that's a good thing.

A few weeks ago, one of my friends said to me, "You like some of the weirdest things. I don't understand you at all." I think they meant it as a joke, but, at the time, I didn't think it was very funny. 

"I am weird," I thought in response to that comment. Yeah. I like stuff that not very many people like, and, if you ask about my latest obsession, I will talk your ear off about it. 

That night, as I was sitting in bed reading Treasure Island by Robert Lewis Stevenson for the umpteenth time, I started to feel a bit insecure. Was I weird? Was I too weird? 

I started to think about all of the things about myself that people might consider "weird". I don't like olives. I am a total History nerd.  Disney movies are really the only movies that I watch. Yeah. I am weird. 

But, in the back of my mind, I heard this tiny little voice (AKA Jesus) say, "You're weird because I made you weird. The unique things about you, I will use for my Kingdom." 

Naturally, I laughed at the tiny little voice. I randomly shuffled through my list of weirdness, and thought , "If you made me this way, then have my love for... Disney movies benefit your Kingdom." 

As I am beginning to learn, I think Jesus does things in our lives, sits back, and smiles to himself a bit. 

The next morning, I received a Facebook message from one of my friends asking if I would be willing to go up with her and few other girls dress up like Disney princesses and go to a Children's Hospital. 

At the time, I didn't piece this together at all. 

But a few weeks later, there I was, in full costume as Rapunzel (My favorite Disney princess too, I might add), standing in a Meet and Greet line talking to little kids. 

There was this one girl (We will call her "Suzy") that just ran up to me. 

"Rapunzel!" She cried, and gave me the biggest hug ever (Like, it knocked me back a bit). 

For the next few minutes, she just talked and talked about how Tangled was her favorite movie. She wanted to know how Pascal and Maximus and Eugene were doing, how long it took me to brush my hair in the morning, etc. And then we talked about how long it took her to do her hair (She had long blonde hair like Rapunzel) She just talked and talked and talked. 

And I got to sit there and listen with the biggest smile on my face.

After hugging "Suzy" goodbye, her mother came up to me. She, too, gave me a hug and said, "Today was a really rough day. We just got back from seeing the Doctor and..." She sighed. "And seeing you all here just made her (Suzy's) day. Thank you." She gave me another hug and said, "I don't think it was a coincidence that you were here today." 

Now, I don't know if she was a Christian or not, or if she was thinking at all about a divine plan when she said that. But for me, that was a wake up call. 

"If you made me this way, then have my love for... Disney movies benefit your Kingdom." 

I could almost hear Jesus laughing a bit. 

He had taken the most random thing about me, and shown me that He could use it for His glory. He took the fact that I am a sucker for musical numbers, and magic, glowing hair, and floating lanterns, and used that to help make a little girl's day better. 

That, to say the least, changed how I viewed myself. 

Every little thing about me, and I mean every little thing (My hair, my height, my fascination with aquariums, hey, even my shoe size), was specifically created for God to use to benefit his Kingdom. Every. Little. Thing. 

For example: 
My blonde hair. I have had people start up whole conversations with me by first talking about my hair. Conversations that opened up a door to a stranger that otherwise would have been closed to me. 

My love for coffee. I once got into intense conversation with a barista at Starbucks about the different kinds of coffee. And that conversation eventually morphed into him sharing his whole life story with me. And then I was able to share mine. And then we started to talk about Jesus. 

I'm not insecure about myself anymore. About how much I adore hummingbirds, or how many people think that my passion for music is a bit strange. Yes. I still think I am weird. But I am intentionally weird. 

And now, I am filled with anticipation. How is He going to use my love for Converse to benefit His Kingdom? How is He going to use my need to always have a clean windshield while driving to benefit His Kingdom?

I am weird. I am so weird. And I love it.

So, now I am going to ask you something. Think of the most random, strange, weird thing about you.   

How do you think God is going to use that "weird" thing to benefit His Kingdom? Because I am willing to bet that He will use that "weird" thing in the most amazing, life-changing way possible. 

Enjoying my weirdness,
Kimberly :)

How To Find Where You Belong

You know how in most stories about teenage girls, the story starts off with the girl feeling lost, looking around for a place to fit in? To belong? And then, at the end, she finds her "people" and rides off laughing into the sunset.

While this is a nice story, and makes for a great Disney film, it is not my story. 

I grew up thinking, "Someday, I'm going to find a place where I 'belong'." I'd find that right group of people and I'd just feel like the last puzzle piece to their puzzle. 

But as I grew up through middle school, and high school, and then graduated high school, that feeling never hit me. In fact, there were times when I would hangout with groups of friends, look around, and think, "What am I even doing here?" 

That lead to thoughts of, "Is there something wrong with me?"That lead to trying to force myself to fit in, often doing things I totally didn't agree with just to be part of the "group". 

(Now, don't get me wrong. I have some of the best friends in the world. I wouldn't trade the relationships I have with them for anything. Seriously. You should meet my friends. You'd like 'em.) 

It wasn't until I was out of high school and a mature adult (::laughs::) that a thought hit me. What if I never find a place where I belong? 

Now, that should have scared me. No one likes the idea of spending their whole life wondering if they will ever feel in tune with people.

But I actually started to laugh. So hard that tears streamed down my face. 

The idea of never fitting in or belonging anywhere didn't scare me, it filled me with relief. I could finally stop trying to force myself to fit in with people. I could finally stop changing who I was to make other people happy. I could finally just stop.

During that strange laughing moment, I finally realized something. I didn't feel like I belonged anywhere, because I was not made to belong. 

I have, not once, in my entire life felt like I belonged anywhere. And for the longest time, I thought that was a bad thing. But now I know that it is because my destiny is not to belong to humans, but to belong with Christ. I was not put on this earth to fit in. I was put on this earth to realize that the only place I do belong isn't even on this earth. 

The place I was made to fit into is by Jesus' side. No where else. He is the only one that I will ever "belong" with. And that's because I was created that way. I was created for the desire to belong with something. But I, mistakenly, thought that I could find that with people. When, in truth, I can only find that with Christ.

I will never find a place where I belong on this earth because I was made for something so much better. And nothing on this planet can satisfy the desire God created me with: The desire to be with Him and only Him. 

And that was the most freeing realization. 

Now, I am human. So there are moments when I try to fit in with the "crowd" and I do get lonely more than I care to admit. But just knowing that that is okay, makes all the difference.

It's okay to wander around trying to find your "people". It's okay to get lonely. That is all perfectly okay. It is just a reminder that you were created for so much more than this earth can give you. 

If you (in anyway) can relate to stumbling around trying to find your "people", well, I would like to officially introduce you to the Jesus Club. Bring your quirks and your awkward childhood photos. You are welcome You are loved. You belong here. Welcome home. 

Kimberly :)

The Truth About Relationships

   So, lately I have been in that weird stage of life where I feel like almost all of my friends either like someone, are in a relationship or getting married. (If you think I'm joking, you should see my news feed. It's like a Nicolas Sparks movie.) 

   Now, I'm not saying this is a bad thing. Friends are getting together that I have been hoping would get together for years. So, yay!

   But one time, I overheard a woman at the grocery store say, "I honestly just want someone that's going to love me. Someone that will make me feel perfect and wanted. That's all I want."

   As I was thinking about this, I realized how much I disagreed with it.

   You don't go into a relationship wanting to feel good, or to have someone else love you and tell you that you're perfect.

   Something that God has been showing me is that in any relationship (Friendship, boyfriend/girlfriend, etc.) the whole point of the relationship should be about the other person, not about you.

   If you date someone simply because they make you feel good, you're going to be miserable. Because there will be moments when you don't feel good around them.

   To me, when you go into a relationship, it should be because you like the other person so much that you want to spend more time and more energy to make them happy. 

   Because think about it. What if you had two people in a relationship that were so entirely focused on making the other person happy? You would have two very happy people. 

   I think in today's society we have fallen into the trap of selfishness. We want what we want when we want it, and we want it now. We want someone else to make us feel good, make us feel accepted. When in truth, the only person that is ever going to make you feel 100% accepted is Jesus. 

   What if, instead of trying to find someone that will make you happy, you tried to find someone to make them happy?

- "Love is not singular except in syllable." - Marvin Taylor 

- "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." - John 15:13

   Just food for thought. ;)

   Kimberly